Monday, October 28, 2002

They're not buying

Remember Howard Berman's bill to allow corporate hacking of private users' computers? It was debated a few days ago at Oxford. The RIAA even had a rep there to debate the pro side. Apparently she wasn't all that impressive; spectators voted better than 3-1 against the proposition.

Friday, October 25, 2002

Also, the irrepressible Stacy, proprietrix of Blogatelle, offers this bit of fantasized dialogue between the sniper suspects and their interrogators as created by her husband, whose props for this proposed scene include a car battery, cables and alligator clips:

Interrogator: Let's see what we can learn from Mr. Testicle.
Interrogatee: Aiiee!!
Interrogator: Look, it's dancing.
Interrogatee: Aiiee!!!!!!!!!!
Interrogator: Hey, you can see through it!

"He's a sick, sick man," she concludes, "and he's all mine."

Stacy, we thank you for sharing him with us.

This, kids, is why newspapers will never go out of business ...

If you're like many Americans, you've been following the saga of the D.C.-area sniper on one of the cable news networks, which means you have been treated to hours' worth of speculation on who the sniper(s) might be, what his/her/their motivation might be and so on.

And if you'd bet your 401(k) on their knowledge, ability and talent, you'd be spending your golden years picking rags and selling tin cans for scrap.

"No one ... " Newsday's Verne Gay writes, "got even the broadest outlines of the story right."

Indeed, there was never any particular reason to think they would. And yet it got so bad that on Monday night, Lou Dobbs of CNN's "Moneyline" opened his show by criticizing the "mostly useless blather" on the cable networks, including his own.

Now that these charlatans have been exposed, is anyone apologizing? As if.

Reason No. 462 Why I Don't Particularly Miss High School ...

Once upon a time there was a high-school newspaper columnist who sought to warn his fellow students about the dangers of stereotyped thinking. He sarcastically listed some examples of such thinking, including this opening line: "What's the difference between the football team and the band? Nothing, they both play bad."

For his troubles, he was called out of the audience during a school pep rally and asked to take part in a skit, during which two football players slammed him to the floor, leaving him sore and scarred by a 6-inch floor burn.

Astonishingly, the school principal has refused to issue a public apology.

Let's be clear on what went on here: Two football players, egged on by their assistant coach (that is to say, an agent of the school system, i.e., the government), physically attacked a student because of something he wrote ... something they had completely misunderstood, to boot. I'm not a lawyer and don't play one in Blogworld, but it looks to me like what we've got here includes, but might not be limited to, criminal assault and conspiracy to deny a student his First Amendment rights.

And public schools wonder why everyone hates them.

The assistant coach, to his credit, wrote an apology to the student within minutes of the incident and offered to resign. The principal refused the offer and has refused to offer a public apology, although he apparently doesn't dispute the facts.

If I were the superintendent of that system, I'd suspend the assistant coach and fire the principal, who clearly knows zip, zilch, nada about the Bill of Rights, instruction on which it is part of his job to oversee. I'd order up remedial civics for the whole fucking football team. And just for good measure, I'd probably bitch-slap the principal, too ... and not with a metaphoric 10-foot clue stick, either.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

Someone somewhere recently published an article suggesting that SpongeBob SquarePants is gay. That's all I know, but a friend said mentioning this should boost the number of referrals the site gets from Google, so here goes. :-)

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Number 1 with a bullet and power-packed

(strains of AC/DC's "Back in Black" fill your computer ... )

OK, so I've been offline awhile. And you know what? It was quiet. That, and without two hands on a keyboard all the time, I was able to drink a good merlot without having to use a freakin' straw. So let's move on.

Speaking of moving, I have finally moved myself to start adding links, as you'll see at left, and the honor of being my first linkee goes to Da Fish, to whom I give major props, a good shout-out and the long, loud chanting of complicated encomia.

Friday, October 11, 2002

I've got one question, and it's not a happy one.

In light of the most recent shooting, if the copycat killings have not already started, when will they?

Flying four jets into buildings or the ground didn't paralyze us as a nation. Stunned? Sure. Enraged? You bet. Paralyzed? Nah. We didn't need Resident Bush to tell us to go on about our routines.

But one determined person -- or, as Fish might say, one fuckwit -- has been able to disrupt routines and terrorize people throughout one of the country's larger metro areas. Using, I also should point out, a readily available weapon with very commonly used ammunition (among other things, the military's standard-issue M-16 rifle shoots .223-caliber rounds). And I don't necessarily subscribe to the theory that the shooter has military training: I know from experience that a good 8x scope can turn a 12-year-old with 20/200 vision into Annie Oakley From Hell within a couple of hundred yards or so.

So how many such Oakleys would it take to do so in the whole country? As many as there were terrorists on the 9/11 jetliners?

Even fewer?

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Ever wonder why Democrats don't ever win? Because they don't even play.

Here you've got Congresscreature Dick Armey violating his oath of office by using a military appropriations bill (a military appropriations bill -- and this guy chaired Armed Services!!) to pursue a petty personal vendetta against the Dallas Morning News. And all the Democrats can bring themselves to say is "Tsk, tsk."

This is an open-and-shut impeachment case, no blow jobs involved at all.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

I just got an e-mail from the National Mental Health Association advising me that the group has experts who can give advice on coping with the stress created by the sniper shootings in and around Washington.

I've got some better advice, bitch: Shoot back.

Because it wouldn't surprise me at all if this doesn't end until someone does.

Monday, October 07, 2002

Assuming this is true, would anyone care to tell me why House Majority Leader Dick Armey and his son Scott shouldn't be impeached and removed from office (Dick) and criminally prosecuted (both of 'em)?